Thursday, September 30, 2010

i did NOT quit !

well, i sure didnt feel that a week has passed since my last post ! days have been flying by, i was super busy with several things, but here is an update :
- weight loss: i lost 4 pounds since i started, that is 10 days ago today, i was kinda hoping for more, because i hear that at the beginning you're supposed to loose fast, but considering my low metabolic rate that i came to know of recently after tests i think i will do with any loss, until my exercising routine kicks in.
 - i have been eating healthy, much on plan, however i have not been logging in all days, i still find that time consuming, but i will try to do it, i however keep a close eye on my calorie intake which im guessing is between 1300 and 1600 daily. i use a scale to measure my cheeses and meats, im avoiding lots of carbs, i did cut out the junk, and most of the white sugars, i am trying to lower my sodium intake as well, to avoid water retention.
- im proud to announce that in the last 10 days i consume 2 diet pepsi's only !! which is a big deal for me as i was used to drinking 4 a day!!!!
- and the big news is - drum rolls - i have signed a contract on my new JOB !!
:-) :-)  i guess when your days go good they go really good !
i have been unemployed for more than 7 months now, which has contributed more or less to my last 20 pounds gain, but now i will start my new job on the 17th of october, and im planning on loosing as much as i can uptill then, and on finding a way to be able to walk at least 30 minutes every night after im back from office.

so.. i think i truely know what needs to be done, however i need to keep pushing myself not to get bored with having to keep a close eye on everything, my exercise, my food, and all that,.. it is just kinda easier to be lazy and not care,.. its easier to live in denial and act as if everything is ok...just slack on the couch and watch tv instead of sweating on the treadmill for half an hour..

im also afraid that my slow weight loss will discourage me.. i jump on the scale 4 times a day! and i feel so impatient.. but i have promised myself to keep going, even when the scale says 0 pounds gone.

how have you been doing? i hope you're pushing yourself hard and seeing the results,...

have a great evening!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

 time to pass along this blog award.  (Thanks again Dr Fatty you're such an inspiration.) 

Now here are the rules of this award:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award.

- thank you  cupcakes & veggies!

2. Share seven things about yourself.

1. well.. im a new mom, and im loving every minute of it, i have a beautiful boy who added so much to my personality and enriched my life!
2. I am obese,.. and i really need to lose this weight in order to give my life a better quality,.. and enjoy it more.
3. I was laid off my work 7 months ago, and im struggling to find a new job, wish me luck!
4. I am an excellent cook, i think of cooking as an art that you can enjoy while adding your personal touches to.
5. I dont have so many friends.. we work and live very far away from home, and most of my friends are so far away, and with time.. these friendships faded away...
6. I love my husband and he loves me,.but he spends so much time working that i find myself alone most of the time, so i need the support you guys can give me, and i thank you all in advance.
7. I love pets,. now i have a lovely cat, that has been with us for more than a year,.. having a pet makes me feel softer on the inside.

3. Nominate 15 newly discovered blogs.

i ate a pie
the fit shack
diet girl

and my inspiration:

Escape from Obesity

4. Let your nominees know about the award.

mini success!

i had a better day regarding calorie intake, till now i have 500 left,.. and i will still fall inline with my daily 1500..
so... what did i do? i watched what i ate carefully, and asked myself most of the times is this worth the calories or not!

and dinner was a success!
im a big meat fan... love beef. lamb, fish,chicken.. all of it!
so., i decided i was going to have a healthy burger for dinner, and that is what i had!
i used 500 gms of fresh mushrooms, grounded it with 400 gms of beef, an onion, and cooked them in a frying pan with a spray of oil ! the burgers turned out delicious, and i think using the mushrooms lowered the calories and fat, because i used less beef !
clever, ha? ;-)

anyway, im still worried about the night time,.. but i will really try hard to fight the temptation, i have the biggest loser season 10 on dvd, ill watch it, and if i really really had to eat something ill munch on the very big bowl of green fresh salad i have ready in the fridge to face any unexpected hunger!! fingers crossed.

as for the exercise, i have not had any today so far.. im thinking of pushing myself to the treadmill for half an hour.. i think if i do i might see a slight weight loss on the scale.. little decisions like this is what makes it happen, dont you think... ill let you know.

have a lovely evening.

day 3

hi again...
last night was a mess... i logged my food intake and it was 600 calories more than i should have consumed...
i dont know what is it with me and night eating.. its like mini binges, when im trying to eat healthy, i do binge but on healthy foods,.. like salads and healthy cooked meals..
if i ever succeeded in stopping to eat after 10 pm, im sure ill loose half my weight,... because late at night is when the ugliness happens..
and i eat when everybody is asleep.. its like what i do.. i hate that,,.. and want it to stop..

one more bad news: i am starting to catch a cold, so i skipped my morning aerobics class.. next class on monday!!  however i will walk on my treadmill today..
will post more later today...

Hello World!

finally i have a blog to journal my long upcoming struggle to loose aallll the extra weight im carrying.. which by the way happens to be just about 80 pounds.. or as i like to calculate: 40 kgms...

this blog has been up for a couple of days now... with nothing in it as a first post.. i come over to my desk, glance at the empty page and just move on to other things.. why is that?
well.. maybe because i have started to "diet " a zillion times before?
maybe because i dont trust myself enough to really document my "diet" this time, having the world looking over my shoulder?
maybe im just waiting to loose a couple of pounds to give me a push start?

i dont really know.. but i guess this goes inline with the so many things i dont recognize or understand in myself lately.. since i have fallen into this obesity trap after having my lovely baby boy who is 3 now!!

im no longer beautiful,.. no longer funny, nor happy...
i have joint pain, i dont take care of my looks ... (as if that will make my obesity any better !! )

and i just dont know this skin on me....
i dont look to the photos i cant say no to being in,.. like those of me with my family on special occasions,.. i dont look to big mirrors... and when i see my reflection .. i dont know that person staring back at me..

so.. maybe i want a support system,.. a blog with friends coming over, reading my daily testaments...encouraging me and helping me maybe making this happen this time.. but maybe im afraid to let the world and myself down - yet again.

so,.. maybe that is why this blog has been waiting for my first post.. and maybe that is why i have been avoiding writing anything here.,.
but u know what?  this time im forcing myself to do things.. im no longer leaving it up to - me - ...the other ME that is trying to take lead of my life will be doing some decisions.. as long as i can find the strength to push myself to do the right thing i will try and try..

today is day 2 in my diet.. i have walked for 35 minutes today on my treadmill that i just bought to have no excuse not to go to the gym in an attempt to make everything easier for myself in order to be able to achieve my goal this time...
tomorrow morning i have an aqua aerobic class that i have enrolled in,.. maybe this is easier than the usual aerobics, no pressure on the joints..(do you know if it really works?)

however, my food intake,.. which i am tracking on  is higher than its supposed to be,,, seems i lost my ability to keep realistic track of my calories,,. prior to consuming them! i used to be so good at counting calories.. but that was 8 years ago.. after which i let go,.. and gained all this weight..
so i decided to write down a couple of options for every meal and snack for tomorrow, to be able to choose from according to my like at the moment,.. adding them all up to my target calorie count which is 1500 per day for this stage,,,

I really am writing the words that come to my head instantly,... am i making sense?

world... if there was a time i needed support and love ever, it is now that i do.
If  there is anyone out there, who has gone through this and can show me a light at the end of my tunnel, please, please do.
If there is anyone good hearted enough to give me sort of a support system, then im grateful in advance..

One day at a time.... One day at a time, and this metabolic rate will HAVE to speed up... there is no other option.