Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Hello World!

finally i have a blog to journal my long upcoming struggle to loose aallll the extra weight im carrying.. which by the way happens to be just about 80 pounds.. or as i like to calculate: 40 kgms...

this blog has been up for a couple of days now... with nothing in it as a first post.. i come over to my desk, glance at the empty page and just move on to other things.. why is that?
well.. maybe because i have started to "diet " a zillion times before?
maybe because i dont trust myself enough to really document my "diet" this time, having the world looking over my shoulder?
maybe im just waiting to loose a couple of pounds to give me a push start?

i dont really know.. but i guess this goes inline with the so many things i dont recognize or understand in myself lately.. since i have fallen into this obesity trap after having my lovely baby boy who is 3 now!!

im no longer beautiful,.. no longer funny, nor happy...
i have joint pain, i dont take care of my looks ... (as if that will make my obesity any better !! )

and i just dont know this skin on me....
i dont look to the photos i cant say no to being in,.. like those of me with my family on special occasions,.. i dont look to big mirrors... and when i see my reflection .. i dont know that person staring back at me..

so.. maybe i want a support system,.. a blog with friends coming over, reading my daily testaments...encouraging me and helping me maybe making this happen this time.. but maybe im afraid to let the world and myself down - yet again.

so,.. maybe that is why this blog has been waiting for my first post.. and maybe that is why i have been avoiding writing anything here.,.
but u know what?  this time im forcing myself to do things.. im no longer leaving it up to - me - ...the other ME that is trying to take lead of my life will be doing some decisions.. as long as i can find the strength to push myself to do the right thing i will try and try..

today is day 2 in my diet.. i have walked for 35 minutes today on my treadmill that i just bought to have no excuse not to go to the gym in an attempt to make everything easier for myself in order to be able to achieve my goal this time...
tomorrow morning i have an aqua aerobic class that i have enrolled in,.. maybe this is easier than the usual aerobics, no pressure on the joints..(do you know if it really works?)

however, my food intake,.. which i am tracking on  is higher than its supposed to be,,, seems i lost my ability to keep realistic track of my calories,,. prior to consuming them! i used to be so good at counting calories.. but that was 8 years ago.. after which i let go,.. and gained all this weight..
so i decided to write down a couple of options for every meal and snack for tomorrow, to be able to choose from according to my like at the moment,.. adding them all up to my target calorie count which is 1500 per day for this stage,,,

I really am writing the words that come to my head instantly,... am i making sense?

world... if there was a time i needed support and love ever, it is now that i do.
If  there is anyone out there, who has gone through this and can show me a light at the end of my tunnel, please, please do.
If there is anyone good hearted enough to give me sort of a support system, then im grateful in advance..

One day at a time.... One day at a time, and this metabolic rate will HAVE to speed up... there is no other option.


  1. Welcome to the blog world! It's good to see you taking that first step. I see a lot of similarities in our stories. It looks like you're getting off to a great start. Good luck!

  2. Sounds like you are on the right track with tracking your calories and exercising - you can SO do this! I'm very impressed with your 35 minutes on the treadmill - what great endurance!

    Thanks for your sweet comment on my blog and for taking the time to read it - that means a lot to me. :)

  3. cupcakes, what a beautiful yummy name! lol
    thank you for your visit and encouragement. I so hope that i am really on the right track, its about time. will keep an eye on you too, so dont slack off! good luck!

  4. Shelly, you are an inspiration to me.. truely,.
    it means a lot to me that you say that 35 minutes is good.. i have been sort of down for not loosing any weight during the last 2 days (well, 3 with today! ) but maybe im just being impatient. and no matter what i wont stop,.this time i will win myself back.
    thank you so much for your comment, it supports me alot.

  5. We're here and glad you have joined us!